Relearning the intentional living

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

Today is my 50th birthday. While I am still exploring the meaning of that duration of my existence on this planet, here is an adjacent short experience I can share, in intentionality.

As I approached this “big one” as many like to call it, I have been taking a stock of my physical body so that I may effect repairs. I was always lucky to have a low resting heart rate but my blood pressure has been rising. Now that my back pain has abated, I have been revisiting yoga and breathwork.

Yesterday, when I was feeling a bit out of sorts, I checked my blood pressure and it was high. As I have begun the process of medical visits, I also thought I might play with numbers a bit.

So I sat down in my office chair, reconfirmed my high blood pressure, and proceeded to do a deep breathing exercise. After 5 minutes or so of doing that, I rechecked my pressure and it had reduced.

While I explore long-term solutions, this short term bandaid of breathing reminded me the power of living intentionally. If 5 minutes of breathwork can start to show measurable improvement in my body, imagine what I can do with 30 minutes of breathwork and yoga three times a week.

As long as we live, our life will have both good and bad in it. We create a sustainable peace of mind, even happiness, by being deliberate about what to tackle and how. I hope this short birthday post will serve as a reminder for you to check your mindset, start moving your body more/regularly, and reach out to friends and mentors when needed to evaluate your ongoing choices.

Authenticity - When do we have it

“But above all, in order to be, never try to seem.”

― Albert Camus, Notebooks, 1935-1951

If you have engaged social media platforms in the last decade, especially in a professional context, you‘ve almost certainly come across this word, authenticity, as one of the core values espoused by leaders, and writers who cover them.

Even before social media, the notion of authenticity has been studied and discussed because it is a fundamental aspect of our identity.  More recently, from Adam Grant to Jay-Z to Zadie Smith, writers and thought leaders have tried to express who they are, and why it matters.

https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/authenticity-quotes_2

I have been thinking about it lately too.  Not too long ago, in one of the professional social media groups I belong to, the issue at hand was “can doctors conduct entrepreneurial side businesses in medicine related ventures and retain authenticity?”

The best way to explore the issue is by starting with a definition.  If you love language like I do, you will agree that there is sheer joy in just exploring the meaning of a word.  So, what is authenticity, after all?  From dictionary.com : 

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/authentic

authentic

[aw-then-tik]

SEE SYNONYMS FOR authentic ON THESAURUS.COM

adjective

1. not false or copied; genuine; real: an authentic antique.

2. having an origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified: 

an authentic document of the Middle Ages; an authentic work of the old master.

3. representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified: 

a story told in the authentic voice of a Midwestern farmer; a senator’s speech that sounded authentic.

4. entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy: 

an authentic report on poverty in Africa.

5. Law

executed with all due formalities: 

an authentic deed.

6. Music

(of a church mode) having a range extending from the final to the octave above. Compare plagal.

(of a cadence) consisting of a dominant harmony followed by a tonic.

7. Obsoleteauthoritative.

——

For the purpose of our discussion, I am cherry picking a bit, focusing on the first meaning provided: not false or copied; genuine; real.  One of the most joyful parts of writing is that when you start to put thoughts into words, like a wild vine they start to send out offshoots in unpredictable ways.  But I am going to contain that for now, for the sake of a simpler discussion.

When it comes to our actions, authenticity is a two-sided phenomenon.  

Firstly, only we can know our truest desires and values so only we can attest to the inward pointing aspect of authenticity.  All of us have some ongoing sense of what matters to us so we can judge the actions that we take as being aligned with our core values or not.  Still, from self-imposed pressures and competing priorities, familial and professional expectations, all the way to societal norms, we can find ourselves pursuing actions in personal, professional, or financial arenas that when examined are in fact not aligned with our core values.  This disconnect is at the core of our personal conflict.

So internal authenticity means to be congruent between our values and our actions.

Secondly, the people around us come to expect us to behave in a certain way, usually based on our consistent past behavior.  Thus, it is a matter of how we want to be seen and then show who we are to the world.  When we put forth a particular image of ourselves but our actions are not aligned, it is quite obvious to those around us.  This lack of consistency comes across as lack of honesty or lack of clarity.

So external authenticity means projecting ourselves in a way that our actions can be consistent thereafter.

What is important to recognize is that the internal and external views of authenticity are not different, per se, but a continuum.  We have to stay true to our values for ourselves and share the same with others.  And the second part, and this is harder, we have to strive to present ourself in a way that does not compromise our values in the first place, especially when being seen by the people in our lives .  

Before we end, let's also focus some attention to the last definition provided above.  Authenticity is, in some sense, related to an authoritative stance.  Based on the internal/external view, and the last definition another way to think about this is...

authenticity = authority + integrity

In our lives, especially our professional lives where second chances may be less easy to come by than our personal lives, we want people to acknowledge our authenticity.  At the same time no one can be a bigger cheerleader for our core values than us.  When our demonstration of our authority in any arena is in integrity with our values, our internal and external views become as one, and we can both experience and display authenticity.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...

Around the time I started this blog, I had expressed out loud a wish to create a sustainable blog to accommodate my desire to write as an exploration. A friend quipped, “let me know when you figure out how to do that.”

Writing is hard on a good day. On a bad day, if it is not for livelihood it can slink away to hide in a corner, another wish, another desire of how we wish to spend our time, but foiled by circumstance.

After a reasonable start, my writing was sidelined by a writer’s block and circumstance. In the middle of an already busy summer, my mother was diagnosed with Covid. She is almost 80, has stage 5 Parkinson’s and when she was in the unit I thought I would lose her. But luckily my Mom came through with flying colors. I spent some time just soaking in my blessings, visiting with my parents, and tending to many of their needs. At the same time, I was dealing with several other issues, and what usually happens by then is that if you are trying to start something new, it is going to suffer the ‘last in, first out’ fate as soon as life goes into a spin cycle.

So it was with me.

Scratching my way back from the edge of that ravine (abyss might be too strong), I started retooling. As I mentioned in the beginning of this blog, life lived well demands that we live with intention. So it was my intention to evaluate my priorities, make a plan to make the blog live again, and get back into the game.

Here I am.

I write this a day after we had a result in the 2020 Presidential election, a result that was delayed by 4 days on account of the most mail-in votes ever. It has been quite a year, on account of Covid upending our lives, and the presidential election that put many people’s hearts in a vise. There is much to say but that’s for another day.

For now, I just want to post this and get back to the business of keeping the blog going, once again.