Over the years, when deep conversations turn to the topic of what do we ultimately want in life, the inevitable answer for many is - happiness. We want to be happy.
I remember having this conversation with a colleague where he insisted that the goal of life was to achieve happiness. I offered why is it not to transcend happiness and sadness. To be content.
He took it to mean that I was suggesting that we give up and just accept where we are.
But there is a different way to think of this too. Happiness, like sadness, is transient. Our minds know in some corner that the amplitude of the feeling does not guarantee the duration, even if feels like it. What if we can use the good times to train our minds to enjoy the moment but also use that positive vibe to build resilience for the sadness that is inevitable. What if we could use this resilience to weather the bad times a little better because now we’d know that those too will end.
Equanimity is not a word we use often but it is a valuable one in tough times and maybe all times. The idea of even keel in a storm sounds great though it is hard to practice. But it can be done. What it takes is to keep one eye on the long view while focusing the other on a short run. We must feel all our feelings but know that each is finite.
The notion of ‘this too shall pass’ should be applied not just to down but also to up. Though I titled this post ‘chasing equanimity’ in reality equanimity is not something we have to chase nor avoid. The whole point is to stay in the middle and not let the edges pull us toward them. It is in some sense ineffable as all deeply felt issues can be. But it can also be as simple as just accepting the high and the lows and choosing to ‘stay in the middle’ through it all.